Having an abortion at 17

‘No woman can call herself free when she does not own and control her own body’ ~ Margaret Sanger

never let anyone’s opinion affect the decisions you make for yourself. the only opinion that matters is your own.

MY STORY

i was in sixth form when i found out i was pregnant. i knew without a doubt that i wouldn’t keep the baby. i didn’t think for one second that i would choose a child, which was just a bunch of cells at that time, over my future. i had been feeling sick and throwing up nearly everyday, with no appetite, and i hadn’t had my period for nearly two months. i had been using contraceptive pills (rigevidon) everyday that stop periods, so i wasn’t too concerned about my delayed periods after i finished my 3 week cycle on the pills. after a while, i realised all the symptoms i was having was pointing towards a pregnancy, and i knew there was a possibility i may have missed some pills. so i took a pregnancy test…..

WHAT TO DO

when this happened to me, i searched all over the internet to find out people’s experiences with abortion and prepare myself for it. somehow i actually struggled to find out how to get it all sorted out despite how common abortions are. so this is basically for anyone who finds themselves in this situation:

MARIESTOPES – 0345 300 8090

Mariestopes is a non-profit organisation that provides contraception and safe abortion services around the world. They have many branches in the UK so there’s most likely a branch near you. Call them up and just say that you want an abortion. Anyone who picks up the phone will be completely non-judgmental and really kind and helpful. When I called, the lady who spoke to me knew I didn’t feel that comfortable so spoke to me very calmly and kindly and made me feel that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. On the phone, you can find out the closest branch to you and the earliest date you can get for a consultation and then you will just wait until your consultation to know your options.

AT THE CONSULTATION

The consultation consisted of an ultrasound, to confirm a pregnancy and see how far along you are, and many questions about personal health to confirm which options you can have. Up to 10 weeks of pregnancy, you just need a couple pills for the abortion. But after that, a surgical abortion is required. I was 9 weeks pregnant so I chose to take the pill option which essentially causes a miscarriage. If you are not over 10 weeks pregnant, the option to have a surgical abortion is still open. I was told on the phone that for the abortion appointment, I’d need someone over 18 with me. But as I was 17, and nearly 18, the nurse told me that I didn’t need to. Which was a huge relief as I didn’t know many people over 18 who I’d want to be there with me. At the end of the consultation, I was given a date to come back to have the actual abortion, and told to bring maxi pads and painkillers.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE PILL ABORTION

I was given three pills to take orally, one that causes the uterus lining to break down, discontinuing the pregnancy, and two antibiotics to prevent infections. I was then given 4 pills to insert myself into my vagina. I was told that I’d need 4 as I was so close to 10 weeks, but the earlier in the pregnancy you are, the less pills are inserted in. These pills cause the womb to contract, and the pregnancy to exit your uterus. After I had inserted them, I was given two more antibiotics to take later in the evening after food, and two pregnancy tests with dates, to ensure that the pregnancy was gone. I was told to take my painkillers about 20 minutes later as the pain would’t come for a while. I had brought paracetamol and the nurse said it wasn’t enough and that I should take two paracetamol and 2 ibuprofen every 4-6 hours (I was later told by a friend that this dose more than once a day exceeds the daily recommended amount so I’m not sure how much should be taken). I bought a pack of ibuprofen at the pharmacy outside and took the train home.

The pain didn’t start until about 4 hours later. I have a very low pain tolerance but it still wasn’t as bad as everyone over the internet, or nurses had made it out to be. Nonetheless it was still very uncomfortable and I wanted it to go away. I get period cramps sometimes, but not one that keeps me in bed, they’re fairly manageable and not painful. But this pain made me lie in bed hugging my knees to my chest. Just before the pain had started, I was bleeding quite heavily, and when I went to the toilet, I was essentially to peeing clumps of blood, quite big but painless to come out. I suspect that one of the clumps was my pregnancy (the size of a cherry at nine weeks). I had already soaked through an entire maxi – night pad so I changed it. I took more painkillers and went to sleep. Throughout the night, when the pain returned it had me tossing and turning and kept waking me up. The first time I woke up, I realised my bed was covered in blood, so I ran to the toilet and sat there, letting the blood drip out until I was awake enough to deal with it. I quickly showered my bottom half and had a pair of pants with two pads, one on top of the other, waiting for me. I laid a towel on top of my blood stained mattress cover and tried to sleep again. My night consisted of 3 trips to the bathroom to change pads and clean up my mess. It wasn’t a very pleasant night.

THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN BEFORE

• Wear an adult nappy instead of pads as they can absorb much, much more. (my friend at school wears nappies instead of pads during her periods as they are extremely heavy)
• Change into a new one straight before you get into bed
• Lay down an old towel or two to sleep on
• Possibly set an alarm halfway through the night to change your nappy, to avoid bleeding through and staining your bed
• Take painkillers every four hours, even if you don’t feel the pain because trust me it’s there and it’s not nice
• Plan to take the next day off of work or school, if it’s an option then definitely take it. No need to worry about the pain or bleeding when you’re just in bed watching tv
• Don’t keep what you’re going through a secret, but don’t go telling every soul you meet but have people you can rely on
• It’s completely normal to not feel a thing. By that I mean emotionally. I was told that I may need to seek professional help as some people find it a traumatic experience. Because of that I felt crazy and psychotic for not feeling a thing. I didn’t feel bad or guilty or sad or anything and that is completely fine.
• Please please please don’t feel ashamed. At all. In this generation most people would choose an abortion over having to raise a child instead of going to Uni, or living their life and that’s perfectly fine. More people get abortions than you know, it’s just that there’s this horrible stigma surrounding it that makes women feel ashamed and that needs to stop.

P.S. I know nothing about medicine so I’m very sorry if I got anything wrong. Just someone with an experience who wants to help scared or confused or worried or curious women. I really hope this post helps at least one person :))))